All is Well!

I've had some time to reflect tonight...I'm choosing not to feel sorry for myself...it is not helpful, not necessary, and not appropriate. I realize that when I get down like I've been for the past few days, it's just because I've not spent enough time in prayer. Prayer is the answer to EVERYTHING. I've let too much of my worldly "stuff" bog me down the past few days. I have to tell myself all the things that I KNOW to be true....all the things that God is trying to tell me, if I just calm down and listen. He has given us this precious (precious in every sense of the word :)gift and has entrusted us with her care because He feels we are the best parents to take care of her...how grateful and humble I am. I have felt very overwhelmed lately...even said, "I guess God thought I was handling everything a little too gracefully...he decided to pile some more on." But I remember so many of the encouraging words I've heard from so many people (I have a folder in my email program entitled "Inspirational email" I save them there so that I can go back and read them when I need to.) My aunt Paulette sent this to my mom and dad during my last breaking point:
"This weak moment in Mandy's journey will make her strong, God is just pulling her in closer to make her stronger for the endurance she needs for each moment, for it is when we are weak that we are made strong."
So much comfort in that...I have faith that God is guiding my every step of this journey and leading me to a place so wonderful that only He could have planned. He knew that I needed to be reminded to center myself around Him...that He is the one and only captain of this ship and we are only along for the ride to witness each crashing wave and each miraculous save...for it is in His loving arms that we always fall, and so falling is not so scary after all. One of my favorite poems is "Footprints in the Sand"http://www.footprints-inthe-sand.com/index.php?page=Poem/Poem.php How lucky we all are to have Him carry us when we can't move forward on our own. I am trying with all my being to give my worries to God...even my guilt for thinking about myself so much when Lydia is the one who must endure more than any of us. I know that God will take it from me. I think a lot about a metaphor that my friend Missy made at Bible School last year....she had a bottle of bubbles and she told the children that inside the bottle were all her worries...and she listed them all. Then she opened the bottle and used the bubble wand to blow the bubbles into the air...as we all watched them float up into the air, she pointed out that God wants us to give our worries to Him and that as they float up, they began to disappear. She even invited some of the children to come up and pop some of the bubbles to show that God sends us friends to help take our worries away too. Such wisdom...and such a powerful illustration. God has sent so many people to my life to help pop the bubbles. If I just let myself feel the peace around me and the promises that God has given us all, I am so very thanful. He will never leave us stranded...we just have to surrender to Him, and LISTEN when He shares His loving wisdom. I feel such a peace right now just allowing Him to fill my soul with His love. There is nothing on this earth that is too big, too busy, too scary, too stressful, too overwhelming that He can't make right.

We had some great family time tonight. Martin, Audrey and Elise and I played Hot Potato with a ball on the kitchen floor...then of course we had to play pretend...Martin was the teacher, and Audrey and I were the students. Elise, of course, lost interest in that. Anyway, the house is still a wreck, the 98 socks that we own are still in a basket waiting to be paired, clothes are still in the washer...and the dryer...and the baskets...and the couch...and the hampers, but who cares?? My girls got the time they needed from their parents. Lydia of course slept through most of that, but she and I had our massage time and a little therapy...not so fun for her, but she did really well, especially considering how miserable she still feels. Please continue prayers to relieve her congestion.

The paperwork for Atlanta has turned out to be more than I anticipated...still working on it...got lots of info today....made about a gazillion phone calls to doctors, nurses, etc. It is in the making, and should be mailed out by the end of the weekend...hopefully along with all of her medical records. I went to dr wood's office today to sign a release...I may need to do that for her other doctors too...I'll get to that as soon as I can.

I've been hesitant to share our newest stresser...not sure why....just not ready to face another road block, but I'm feeling so safe now in knowing that God will get us past it no matter what the outcome... At Lydia's appt with Dr Guidroz on Wednesday, she started to ask some questions about Elise. Elise was not with me, but she knows our family well...has seen my girls many times when Dr Wood couldn't. She is very sweet. She said that she thinks about Elise all the time and wondered if she had ever been tested for MPS disorders. She had a patient with it when she practiced in Georgia, and Elise's facial features remind her a lot of the little girl. Elise has not been tested for that...of course I went home and got on the Internet to get a little more info. I am not at all convinced that Elise has this disorder, but I do think it is worth checking out...especially since she told us that it only requires a simple urine test to check for it...and it is very serious...we would need to know if she has it so that we can watch for certain problems. I called Dr Superneau's office yesterday, and he called me back this morning. He said that he is of the mindset that if a disorder comes to a dr's mind for a patient, it is worth testing...especially since the test is not invasive and not expensive. So, I went to the Woman's Hospital today to pick up some urine bags...we will go back MOnday morning to bring a urine sample. He said that the results should be back by the end of the week. Dr Superneau's explanation of the disorder (as I understand it...which may not be saying much): the body is not able to process some compounds correctly because particular enzymes do not do their jobs correctly. This causes these compounds to build up in tissues in the body. The enzymes that are not working properly determine which tissues have the build-up. If it is in the joints, patients have stiffness of the joints. If it is in the liver or spleen, patients have enlarged livers or spleens. If it is in the heart, patients have heart problems, etc. So, if the urine test comes back abnormal, there would then be a blood test to determine which enzyme was not doing the job....which would provide info about which parts of the body to direct your attention. He also said that there is a chance that the urine test could be abnormal, and that you never find which enzyme it is...if it is not one of the most common ones and is not a testable one. Just lots of questions really...but, again, I choose not to worry about this until I have to...which of course, is never... because God will carry us through just like He always has and always will. I just ask for your prayers for this situation too.

And I'll end with the prayer that Stacy posted today...so simple, yet so powerful!
Your Will...nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. Amen.