Eight Months Today!

Can you believe it?? Lydia is already 8 months old...it is hard to imagine...though I know she has come so far! On my way to drop off the kids at school this morning, I started thinking back to how life was about 6-7 months ago...specifically my life. I really don't know how I did it....today's business seems like a piece of cake compared to life then...
Lydia was not gaining weight, so the dr told me to keep track of the amount of food she was taking in (though we are still doing this)...I had to stop breast-feeding, but continue to pump breast milk while supplementing with formula. At that time, it was taking Lydia an hour to eat 2 oz...and he wanted me to feed her every 2-3 hours. So, that basically meant that I would feed her for an hour and take a break for an hour....and somehow try to take care of two other kids, pump breast milk, car pool to and from school (which I have help with now..thank God!), and do my share of household stuff...not to mention that Lydia was waking up for 2-3 hour shifts at night....and that we were going back and forth to the dr's office almost every day to check her weight and run tests. I remember telling the dr that I didn't think my breast milk was any good because I was having trouble finding time to eat. (Boy, if I only had that problem now...I could lose this baby fat that I keep holding on to :) Anyway...I literally don't know how I managed that. I feel like I can probably handle anything now...just one of God's great lessons: the harder the hard times are; the easier the easy times are!

And Oh how proud we are of how Lydia has progressed since then. Many of you know that when she was first born...if she was awake, she was crying. It is such a joy to see her little smiling face these days! Also, she makes such a connection with us now...we can tell that she is reacting to us....not just random smiles. And her daddy is very proud that he has an extra-special bond with her...he has an effect on her like no one else...she "talks" to him every time he interacts with her...it is very sweet. She is still trying very hard to lift her head while on her tummy and sometimes does very well with that. Her head control is much better.

Just to let everyone know about her development...she is not doing hardly anything that typical babies her age can do...no attempts to roll over alone...no sitting up....obviously no crawling. She is a lot like a newborn baby in many ways. But, we find it more important to focus on the things that she has accomplished...and her smiling face and fun cooing are tops on our list!

I came across an old email from a mother of a little girl with Rett syndrome (and mitochondrial dysfunction)...she has a website www.girlpower2cure.org She's actually the co-founder of the Rett Syndrome Research Fund. I looked around on the site a little...it was very intimidating...Rett Syndrome is a very severe disorder. It solidified the fact that I don't need to do that kind of research...at least until I know for sure what Lydia's diagnosis is....she may not have Rett Syndrome at all. I was taken back by how sad and morose some of the parents were in the videos...it brought sadness and misunderstanding to me...I feel sorry for the children- that their parents are so sad about their lives. There was one video, though, that was very heart-warming....The lady's daughter, Sarah, at her school Christmas program...her mother was helping Sarah to engage in the song during the play...the look on her mother's face was pure joy and pride. I just thought, "That's what it's all about." We all feel proud of our children...whatever accomplishments they may have...large or small.

I do realize that caring for Lydia right now is very easy...she is a baby, and all babies require constant care. I foresee additional necessary care as she gets older...though I don't know for sure what that might entail, but I do realize that it may be more difficult than what we are doing for her now. So, I will continue to brace myself for that...and trust in God to lead the way and carry us through when we need Him to....knowing that God will always light the path for us makes it all so much less daunting. How lucky and blessed we are!

I went to visit the LSU language preschool today, as Ms Kauffman suggested. It started off rather awful...wrong directions from the visitor center, so I ended up in the wrong place...had trouble finding a parking space- twice. I finally did make it there...It was great to meet the director there...Laura Teague...she was very nice and very honest with me about Elise's options. Though she really highlighted their program there, she agreed that Elise is in good hands at BR Speech and Hearing and that it might be best to keep her there since she is settled. She sort of went over the pros and cons of each place with me and said that she would keep Elise at the top of her list for next fall...she'll call us at the end of the summer to find out what we decide to do. I expect that we'll probably keep her at BR Sp and H. I am very impressed with how well Elise has done so far, and I think it is the best place for her.

I also met with the Early Steps evaluator today...she evaluated Elise last week because I was trying to get her qualified for OT through Early Steps...Well, she didn't qualify for services. That's actually good and bad....it's bad because we won't be able to get an Early Steps therapist to work with her this summer...it's good because she must be doing well as far as that is concerned. The evaluator was honest about the fact that the testing instrument may not focus on all of the skills that Elise may need help with, so an OT might find some things that could be fine-tuned for her. I may try to work something out with Laura again for the summer...I'll see what she thinks about Elise's progress.

I had a sort of rough evening today...one of those times when I felt like a bad mother...I'm not proud at all to say that sometimes my temper gets the best of me...and my poor Audrey inherited that yucky trait from her mother (though I hope to claim that she inherited some good traits from me too :) After the dust settled tonight, she and I talked...and decided that when we feel really upset about something...we need to ask God to help us to stay calm. I really want to teach her the right way to handle anger...I'm afraid that when I see her angry outbursts, she is only doing what she has learned. I continue to ask God to mold my character...to shape me into the person that He wants me to be, so that I can be the best mother, wife, friend (and any other role that I have).